I like how your passion and enthusiasm for your subject comes through in your writing - it’s obvious you’ve gone down the path that many entrepreneurs go in terms of the overwhelming amount of information out there and the “where do I begin with Internet marketing” problems that arise as a result. You’re able to identify with your audience as a result, because you’ve “walked a mile in their shoes” so to speak.

In terms of things I’d recommend regarding your post - a couple of things come to mind. Remember that not everyone is as close to your subject as you are, and you’ve got a lot of text in your advertorial for people to read. I’d recommend adding some “sub-heads” throughout your advertorial to help break up the text for people (most people have an attention span of about 8 seconds online, so doing this will help to make the information more digestible for them).

The other thing that I’d recommend is to be careful with the acronyms — I figured out that TGBS stood for The Guerrilla Balance Sheet, but I had to think about it. Anything that makes your reader have to stop and think slows them down from the action you want them to take, which is to click on your link and get more info or make a purchase. After the first appearance of your term, put the abbreviation in parenthesis so it’s really obvious for people - I know this sounds simple but again, people have short attention spans so you want to make it as easy as possible for them.

Finally, you mention personal mentoring from Dr. Ben Mack and Mr. Paulie Sabol - perhaps consistent readers of your information know who these people are, but it would add power to your message if you were to create a link from their names to their bios so I could learn who they are (or if you were to include that information within your advertorial so I could see why personal mentoring from them would be valuable), that would add strength to your letter.

Other than that, I think you’ve got a great promotional advertorial put together, and your obvious excitement, knowledge and enthusiasm for the information will encourage your readers to check out what you have to offer.

I’ve also posted this information in the comments on my blog at http://bluechipmarketingtips.com so be sure to come back and see what other readers have to add to my thoughts!

Best of luck to you!
Caroline Melberg

[…]Mabuhay, my colleagues and I heard of your blog over at McBrides, so we thought we would take a look. We’ve read several of your posts and we all agree that you have a fine writing style[…]
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